To understand Force is to understand why trust is easily broken between a dog and his caregiver.  It can undermine a dog's progression into adulthood, undermine cooperation, and lead to abandonment. Even if you have never used force on your dog, others' may have. Well-meaning family members, and even professional caregivers using outdated information, may have used force on your dog. Your job is to protect your dog, and provide gentle guardianship. It requires you to recognize the signs of force, educate those who have used it, and protect your dog at all cost.  

The Tell-Tale Signs that Force has Likely Been Used

A dog who has been trained or disciplined with force is recognizable. He cowers with fast movements, at hand gestures, or raised voices, with his ears flat against his head, and his tail curled down. He shows ‘crescent eyes’ (meaning the white shows in a crescent shape under his irises).  The dog’s natural curiosity is lower than normal as is his confidence. He avoids people, glancing at where at person is in position to himself, and looks worried, with eyebrows pinched tightly together. When you see these signs in combination, it is likely force has been used.

What is Considered Force? 

Force is shouting, pulling, and pushing. At it’s worse, it is hitting, kicking, slapping, straddling a dog, shaking a dog by the scruff of his neck, hitting your dog on his nose with a rolled up newspaper, and/or pinching or kneeing any part of his body.  Force is also training collars, including; shock, prong, choke, and citronella collars. Any type of force is to be avoided and for good reasons: 

1. Science has proven that dog’s have complex emotions and the same emotional capacity as a 2-year old child. Today, similarities between dog and human brains are being studied. It is helping us to understand mental illnesses, which dogs share with humans. Also, it is now proven that dogs' emotional capacity and the way they feel are very similar to humans and they are thought to have complex emotional lives.
2. All dogs are fundamentally hard-wired to be cooperative, attached and dependent on humans. It is in their DNA. To help you remember this fact, think of dogs as being all about 'Peace and Love and Cooperation'.
3. Out-dated training methods based on a dog's inherent need to dominate, and gone uncheck leads to injurious harm to humans is now disproven by science. We now know a dog’s relationship, born out of thousands of years of evolution with humans, is one of trust and cooperation. There is much misunderstanding on what dominance is: ""...being dominant" does not mean punishing or actually harming another individual, it's easy to see that dogs do control or influence the behavior of other dogs in non-injurious ways, just like other animals, including humans, do. Once again, when people understand what "being dominant" means they will see that dogs can and do dominate other dogs, other animals, and humans, and positive training/teaching methods that are used to influence or to control the behavior of dogs are very effective"
4. We now know that Dog training based on references to Wolves and Pack Behaviour is incorrect. TV Personalities, like Cesar Milan use outdated methods to sensationalize quick behaviour shifts. In reality, the methods psychologically traumatize a dog. Scientifically the dog fails to see long-term beneficial results with aversive methods.  Often dogs who are forcibly handled 'shut-down’ emotionally and then the dog is shown 'cured'. It is inaccurately described by the TV personalities as 'submitting'. It is very dangerous, and crushes the dog spirit.  Eventually a traumatized dog will emerge with even a higher tolerance to aggression by increasing his own aggression. 
5. Dogs may test boundaries but normally this is only during adolescence. It can also occur in traumatized dogs that have been rescued and then re-homed. Dogs are not trying to be dominant, but are puzzling out who they are, and who you are to them.
6. Once force is used, a dog learns that doing new ‘things’ may turn out to be painful so normal curiosity is learned to be avoided. A dog who has had force used on him can return to normal in time by building confidence and trust through gentle guardianship.
7. Tolerance to physical pain requires more and more pain to be inflicted to maintain the same results. A dog increasing his tolerance to pain will increase his aggression. A cycle that creates a very dangerous situation.
8. Use of force to change or reinforce training commands will force the dog to suppress his normal emotions like fear, and turning them into frustration and anger. Once this happens, they can ignite without warning in the form of aggression, growling, snarling and ultimately biting.

If you currently use force, and would like to explore how to use force-free methods for long-term results and a happier dog, there are several resources regionally and nationally to support you. Check out the following sites:

http://theiscp.com/contact-an-iscp-practitioner
https://www.petprofessionalguild.com/Zip-Code-Search

As a Canine Behaviourist. I work on many cases with dogs and their families with the sole goal to make their lives work better.  Many of these cases are truly fascinating, with each dog having their own unique personalities and quirks, along with their caregivers. I have decided to write about them because their journeys are often inspiring as they illustrate such tremendous commitment of humans to care for their dogs.  I want to protect my client's privacy so names and identifying notes will be removed and the stories shaped in a way that demonstrates the challenges and the strategies used to overcome each one.  I hope you enjoy these stories and gain insight into dogs' minds and souls.

The beauty and coldness of ginger eyes. For a moment, I hold my breath, as I notice the pupils constrict. His eyes pierce me with distrust and disdain. Then, suddenly, the head swings away. Samson's assessment is completed. I am no threat and smell a little like liver. I swore the air pressure seemed to have shifted as he looked away. This was my first encounter with my client, a stunning male, marmalade malamute, and the complaint was growling, nipping, and aggressive behaviour. 

The caregiver was a single business woman who clearly loved Samson.  Tall, blonde and well-educated, Kathy hired me to help uncover why Samson was growling so much and if she should be worried for her safety.  She wanted to stop the nipping which was bruising her arms and legs. 

Samson, after his initial cold greeting of me, took his 90 lb. frame and padded to his blanket, picked up a bone and began gnawing, while Kathy and I sat down to talk. 

I learned Samson was adopted at 4-months of age from a questionable breeder. He was never an over-affectionate dog but enjoyed playing and having fun like any young dog does. Samson was now in his teenage years, and still enjoyed play although seemingly on his terms. Adolescence in dogs is a time where great empathy and patience are required. They are often fearful years for a dog whose age ranges from 6 and 18 months, where dogs become aware of themselves, regardless of being neutered or spayed. Hormones may be surging, and complex emotions are intensifying. They wonder who they are and their value within their social circle. It is a delicate and challenging time where the foundation of adulthood are set in place. 

Samson, rises and pads over to me as I sit writing on the sofa. He sits down directly in front of me, breathing on my notebook, waiting for attention as scribble Kathy answers to my questions. He 'nokes' my pen (noke meaning a poke with his nose) and the pen slides across the page. He is not to be ignored. I put my notepad aside, taking the opportunity to exchange some communication signals. Samson's tawny eyes are comfortable now, not hard like during my entrance.  As I lean forward in my seated position.  I am careful to position my face far away from his face, but still allowing him to gaze at me. I squint my eyes and smile. I am saying "Hello" in dog language. I asked him, "May I touch you?"   I wait for a response, and then Samson says yes, shifting his large stately head down to my hands resting in my lap, "Yes, you may."  I move slowly and rub his neck, my fingers sinking into the most glorious fur you have ever felt. Rich layers of softness, warm and luxurious. I keep my eyes half-lidded (called, soft eyes) and notice the same soft-eyes on Samson's face. Then a growl. and Samson's eyes hardened, seemingly simultaneously. I removed my hand quickly and sat back. Kathy sat up straight, and said, "There! That's what I don't understand!"

I explained the silent transaction that had just occurred between me and Samson, with his final "That's enough!" Samson, in short, had a short tolerance for handling and quite vexingly, wanted affection. 

Samson, over several weeks of interaction and study showed his growling was likely signaling frustration and grumpiness. Consider that in his mind, he likely believed he was being very clear in his dog language as to what he liked and didn't like, but it appeared no one was listening. In typical adolescence fashion, he lashed out, escalating his anger to nips.  I also believed Samson's trust had been broken. He simply didn't trust Kathy to care for his needs. He likely felt he needed to be hyper-vigilant in training Kathy to notice when he needed to relieve himself, be protected, or when he needed to relax in peace.  If Samson could have graded his caregiver, he would have given her a C- which would have broken this kind-hearted, well-intentioned woman's heart. She truly cared deeply for Samson.  His signals also seem to suggest a general disappointment in humans. Missing key knowledge on his early formative experiences, I had to assume his frustration, distrust, and subsequent aggression were triggered by an abandonment memory. I also thought it possible the memory resurfaced once I learned of a recent puncture wound Samson received during a play fight with a dog-friend. . He was also very demanding, potentially coming from a sense of entitlement found in many young dogs finding their sense of self. All of these beliefs, interpretations, and choices Samson was acting on, need to be gently guided, with a firm and fair hand.  

I committed to helping build a comprehensive plan for Kathy and Samson to build trust between the two of them.  Kathy committed to being engaged with the plan; ask questions, provide feedback, and be open to training and receiving help.

A large majority of dogs can be summed up as being all about peace, love, and cooperation. It is their natural state of being.  Samson was attached to Kathy, but his love was to be earned and the plan needed to deepen the bond between them.  Our strategy needed to address how Samson could shift to become more peaceful and cooperative. We also needed to consider other humans in his social circle that Samson needed to cooperate with (social circle meaning friends and family members).  

Kathy needed to be able to communicate clearly and firmly to family members about their interaction with Samson, especially when on a Behaviour Modification Plan. In the past, misguided family members were noted as bullying Samson, physically and mentally into situations he was not comfortable - this had to stop and Kathy had to be the one to do it with Samson watching. Our strategy sought to establish a set structure Samson could always rely on, including a plan to set and enforce ground rules. For Kathy, I needed to step-by-step plan to educate and train her to read Samson's signals and to respond back in a way he understood.   

Kathy excelled at the challenge before her. She learned how to read Samson's communication signal, and also to for permission before touching his body. The simple tasks of putting on a harness, cleaning his ears, and checking his teeth were done with respect. It may sound odd to ask for permission, but it helps our human minds to move into the right space of respect for the dog.  Also, Kathy was tall in stature and needed to think through and adjust what she was subconsciously signalling to Samson, with her body positioning. Signaling through tone, body language and position, Samson was able to prepare himself to be handled. To understand this, imagine you taking a deep, calming breath before having to engage in conversation with an opinionated relative.  

We established a strict daily routine for Kathy and Samson, with a time-based schedule to play and relieve himself.  We also increased his feeding schedule, and added in exercises where Samson was handled (not when needed but as a bonding exercise). Bedtime routines shifted to ensure Samson could turn off and fully relax. We introduce several Human-Dog bonding games - instantly a huge success. We also introduced a discipline plan that was kind but firm, with no force.  Samson desperately needed ground-rules to be reinforced, without breaking the fragile trust we were building between him and humans.  Ground-rules helped him to learn to be a cooperative member of the household.  After a few weeks, Samson likely thought he had entered into a dream-life where he was understood and could begin to believe in. The comprehensive nature of the plan worked on many emotional plains to reduce Samson's distrust. 

Sitting on the floor, a few delicate threads connect Kathy with Samson. Samson is on his back, with a lolling grin, his mouth soft, his eyes half-closed. Kathy is a little behind his head,, dangling a rope toy over his lips and his front teeth gently grab the fringed threads, connecting them in gentle play. His paws move slowly to tap the rope. Kathy smiles at this lazy efforts,. Samson smiles too, very relaxed, with his stomach exposed - he feels safe. Kathy asks Samson, "Can I rub you?"  and Samson grins, "Yes" . Kathy slowly and gently rubs him and then stops, checking Samson's response. There is nothing from Samson. Kathy knows this means it may be giving 'her' pleasure but Samson is only kindly tolerating her. She smiles again knowing that this is Samson's unique personality and that his tolerance of her is a sign of love.
​
Over three months of diligent care and commitment to the plan, Kathy and Samson are much closer, with a deep bond that is wonderful to see - true affection can be observed. Samson's smiles more having found greater peace in his world and growls less due to grumpiness (I should mention lest it be misunderstood, growling is good, as it clearly warns a person to stop what they are doing). There have been no further nipping or signs of aggression. In addition, Kathy's efforts have paid off and her family has been effusive about the dramatic difference in Samson. Using caregiver guidelines combined with Samson's increased joyful cooperation, the entire family has been enjoying Samson more and were no longer nervous being around him. Kathy's commitment and dedication to her dog Samson is a testament to her long-term loving relationship she now has. 

This is only an overview of our Behaviour Modification Strategies and  Plans which are extensive and wholistic in nature. We outline in our strategies and plans all aspects of Dogs basic and enriched needs, in addition to practical exercises, games, training and both interim and long-term goals. We train caregivers to execute on the plan, and provide support, encouragement, and refreshers when needed during the execution of our plans.  Each plan is highly tailored simply because each dog has a unique personality, complete with distinct beliefs on who they are, who you are, and why they think they should be doing what they are doing. Our plans are updated as new science breakthroughs come to light.  

Readers Note: For ease of reading, 'he' is used. Please substitute 'she' if you have a female dog

He lifts his head backward, looking at you with soft eyes, pressing his head into your chest. He is leaning on you, lying on his side and looks at you in his funny little way that you adore. HIs mouth opens and the corners of his cheek stretch just a little and there it is...a small lazy grin that seems to say, "Rub my belly, please?"  Who doesn't melt at this display of affection?  

When your best friend is in a mental state of comfort, as with all dogs, they will move along a continuum from comfort to pleasure, and why not.  It is at these heart-warming moments that you feel the most bonded to your dogs.  The endorphins fire and you both feel the pleasure in your relationship.

In my daily career of caring for Guest Dogs whom I have often never met before, my goal is always to achieve an affectionate bond. Nothing is more gratifying than when a Guest Dog slowly comes to you, placing their head on your person and leans in. This is a dog hug, given willingly and joyfully. It can't be forced. I tell you that there is nothing like it in the world.  It is also especially gratifying because it tells us that we have bonded with a dog under our care, and that they feel safe, happy and loved.

In our line of work, we don't have a lot of time to bond with a dog. We don't have days, weeks or months. We must achieve an authentic bond within hours of a dog's arrival at the Resort. Our training and skill requires us to be masters at reading dog signals and be capable of sending signals back to effectively shift a dog's mindset from worry, to a relaxed confident state of mind. Then, we must further move a dog's mind from seeing us as strangers to seeing us friends, then from friends to trusted caregivers, trusted caregivers to fun playmates, and from fun playmates, we build towards an affectionate bond. We must do this over a course of hours and we work hard to continuously honed and tweaked our reading and sending signals to our Guest Dogs.

When we are working on behaviourial cases, we support the Caregiver to bond more deeply with their dogs.  We examine the way they display affection.  We see the good, the bad and the ugly.  In a large majority of cases, we see good-hearted Caregivers not reading the signals the dog is giving them accurately. Loving owners want their dog to be affectionate instantly or in some cases, feel entitled to having their dog's affection because they feed and exercise it.  Willing affection displayed from a dog must be gifted by the dog himself, and if the mindset of the dog hasn't moved to an affection bond, then they will only tolerate a human touching them. Sadly, we see this sometimes after years of a caregiver and their dog being together.  We watch the insistence that the dog loves being hugged, and the ugly faces of dog's tolerating it. In other instances, we take note of the bad body position of a caregiver, leaning over a dog to pat its head, promoting a dog's sense of being low in the social order of his family.  We watch owners make their dog sit, hold the jowls to raise their pets head, directly lean over and place a kiss on their nose.  All good and kind intentions, but bad execution. 

By learning more about how to communicate with dogs, read their body language, and understand how they think, feel and act, we can learn how to develop a deeper and lasting bond, full of willing affection.  

To foster your dog's emotional spirit, use this 1-minute booster-shot a day and learn to say in Dog-language:, "Hey I like you and respect you":

• Kneel beside your dog, about 6" away from him. Avoid kneeling directly in front of him.
• Facing the same way, keep your head positioned straight out. Do not look at your dog.  Relax your body into this position. Keep your eyes half-lidded. If he swings to look at you, stay looking forward, with your eyes half-lidded and give a yawn.
• Speak softly, gently and low, avoiding any excitement in your voice.
• Using your arm closest to his shoulder, use the back of your hand to stroke his shoulder and simply say "Good Boy"
• Move away slowly

This should take approximately a minute, and easy to do daily. By doing this small act regularly, you will see your dog begin to enjoy the moments when you say: "Hey, I like you and respect you."  Be patient. If you have never communicated effectively with him to let him know you like and respect him, it may take awhile for it to sink in. Affection is born out of consistent signals that you are to be trusted, that you respect him, and his body, and that you value him in your life.  

It is the most powerful gift to have a dog give you their own version of what we call 'hugs'; when their eyes soften, and they lean into you. By respecting who they are as complex emotional beings, and by being patient and focused, this gift can be yours.  My wish for you is to take a minute a day and begin unwrapping the gift only your dog can give you; wonderful affection given willingly and joyfully.

Hi Everyone:
 
There is a Pet's Bloggers Challenge on, and you must answer the following questions to enter, so here it goes:

1. When did you start your blog and, for anyone who is just seeing it for first time, please provide a description of your site. Would you say your blog focuses more on sharing stories with your readers, or providing a resource for your audience?

I began in March 2016, wanting to connect with those who are passionate about continuously learning to enrich their dog's life through enhanced care and training. My blog focuses on myth-busting behaviour issues,  providing resources and answering common questions with up-to-date, modern insights. We connect the dots to force-free, positive reinforcements and behavior issues.

2. What was your proudest blogging moment of 2016?

Receiving a total of 115 Likes for "My Trainer Told Me My Dog is Dominating Me" - it showed I hit the mark with many and hopefully helped redirect efforts to be force-free and providing positive reinforcement to Dogs.

3. Which of your blog posts was your favorite this year and why? (Please include a link.)

Dealing with the Loss of Your Best Friend (http://www.executivepetservices.ca/blog/dealing-with-loss-of-your-best-friend) because it helped many people facing the holidays with a sadness and despair. Sometimes just knowing that it is 'okay' to grieve deeply for a dog is cathartic. I had several notes written to me privately thanking me. It was extremely difficult to write and I was touched by how much it helped others deal with their loss. 

4. Year after year, one goal that we all seem to share is that we want to reach more people. What one tool did you use or action did you take this year that had the most impact on increasing traffic to your blog?

It was an action, specifically overcoming the fear that no one wants to hear my voice.

This time last year I was a recognized Executive Consultant working with Global Companies to introduce complex change programs, moving organizations through the maze of new strategies. It was a high-stress, high-paced career and it was impacting me physically, emotionally and personally. My voice back then was authoritative and confident.

I turned my life upside down when my medical team recommended I change professions, and find more joy, a more active lifestyle, and regain my health.  We sold our home and moved to a property in the middle of a forest in Muskoka, Ontario (the most beautiful place on earth in my opinion). We opened Executive Pet Services & Resort, and I earned my diploma in Canine Behavior.  But there was an identity crisis in all of this and to gain a foothold in blogging it had to be overcome. I had to answer definitively why anyone would want to hear from me? I was new in the field and humbled by what had brought me to this point in my life. So many experienced professional dog behaviourist before me, and I have so much to learn (still).  

During my studies I learned that the bridge between humans and dogs is closing. My previous career dealt primarily in Human Dynamics and helping people deal with change. Canine neuroscience and cognitive science were bridging human emotion and cognitive abilities with dogs going through change. They were remarkably similar and I was able to come up with original thinking and connections between the two bodies of knowledge: Human & Canine Behaviour Modification. It was hard a first, to connect the dots in a new way that hadn't been done before, but  I had original thoughts and hoped people wanted to learn and hear more, Once I saw interest, well you couldn't stop me writing.

5. Which of your blog posts got the most traffic this year? (Please include a link.) Have you noticed any themes across your most popular posts?

5 Observations to Tell If Your Dog is Bored (http://www.executivepetservices.ca/blog/enriching-your-dogs-world)
People like the myth-busting and new insights into Dog Behavior. They adore learning how to enhance their dog's life. Our readers are made up of dog care advocates and passionate dog owners,/dog enthusiasts.

6. What blog do you find most inspirational and how has it influenced your blog? (Please include a link.)

Theo Stewart's The Dog Lady, whose Blog is called, "Paws for Thought" (http://www.dogidog.co.uk/paws-for-thought). Theo is one of most admired Dog Behaviourist that I follow. Her blog teaches me a lot.

7. What is one thing your readers don’t know about you or your pets that would surprise them?

I don't have a dog. We do foster from time to time but not too often. I fall in love with every dog I meet. Saying I need dogs in my life is an understatement, and when people allow me to care for their dog or help their dog it fills my hungry heart.  By staying hungry for dog kisses, dog hugs (where a dog leans into you), and earning the sweet look from soft, loving eyes of a dog, it allows me to put all my heart into their care.  My business also provides new innovative "Human-Dog Sleeping Zones" where myself or a professional caregiver monitors the dogs all night to ensure restorative sleep occurs. Having my loyalty be with a four-legged family member while managing group care would be problematic.

8. What is something you’ve learned this year that could help other bloggers?

Write emotionally and passionately while keeping your readers in mind. Visualize their faces when writing, as if they were right in front of you. Speak to them in a respectful and honest manner. Be gentle and kind with your words. Keep your message simple. Oh, and for me, keep working on your proof-reading - LOL!

9. What would you like to accomplish on your blog in 2017?

To change the way people think. To deliver more informed articles to help them make better decisions. To challenge old beliefs and introduce new ones.  

10. Now it’s your turn! You have the attention of the pet blogging community – is there a question you’d like answered, or an aspect of your blog that you’d like input on?

I would love to hear from other bloggers about their best marketing campaigns because in small business every advertising dollar counts.

We have just introduced Human & Dogs Sleeping Zones. Just like at home, dogs sleep with humans right beside them, all night long. At the Resort, Professional Dog Caregiver's monitor your dog 24 x 7, and we adjust their care based on how deeply they slept. Why is this important when you're away? We know that dogs have varying levels of stress when they are away from you and sleeping in a new environment adds to the stress and dogs can become quite scared.

New science has shown that better sleep equals better judgement in dogs. Meaning, when your dog is faced with a choice, he is able to use his memories and knowledge to make the best decision.  

We wanted to introduce a new way to provide restorative sleep. It has always been important as seen in our Bedtime Service (bedtime stories, massages, zen music and cuddles).  Now, we add to our enhanced services, introducing a sleeping zone where we can settle your dog on a cozy bed right beside a professional caregiver, all night long.  It is the next step to making your dog happy when you are away. We ensure that any Dog Guest does not have to fight for space, and that they stay warm and cosy all night (yes, we tuck them in to a faux-fur blanket in the winter). We monitor if they are sleeping deeply or restlessly and we have been known to soothe those that are having bad dreams. We also adjust their daytime activities to include longer nap times to be as bright and happy as possible.

As a "Care Facility," things like our Restorative Sleep Program is constantly improved upon and adjusted. Unlike Dog Boarding facilities, where kennels will have one or two dogs panicking through the night, frightened to be all alone, and bark repetively throughout the night, we offer an alternative. We are also unlike Dog Camps, who provide unmonitored, "cage-free" environments which becomes a free-for-all for any aggressive dogs once night falls, often leaving your best friend to fend for him or herself. 

When planning your away time, consider the sleeping environment for your Dog's happiness and safety.

Yay! You've booked the vacation of your dreams. Now it making sure it is worry-free and guilt-free. High quality pet care is hard to find but it is out there. Planning ahead is key to finding the right spot where your Dog (or Cat) doesn't feel emotionally bereft or left to face fearful situations without you.

Here is a Worry-Free Dog Vacation Check-List. Use it to help plan a successful trip away where your dog is set up to be well-cared for:

1-2 Months Before Your Tropical Vacation

• Check out your options for overnight vacation care:  Live-In Pet Sitters, Kennels, Dog Camps, and full-service Pet Resorts. Look beyond your neighborhood as some country-side Pet Resorts offer affordable quality care and will provide door-to-door pick-up and drop-off.
• Set up a tour, or virtual tours of the boarding facilities, sometimes called 'Camps" for Dogs, Cats or Pets. If they don't show you where the dog's sleep, walk away.  You are looking for non-wooden sleeping accommodations, as wood cannot be sanitized. With multiple dogs using the same spots over and over, it is essential to be able to scrub them free of potential harmful disease and nasty parasites.  Pet Resorts generally want to show off their accommodations, but this is not a strict rule.
• Ask to speak to the person who will be caring for your dog. If they are not available, ask for the credentials of the person who will be caring for your dog. Also, if the same person will be providing the care throughout the vacation period.
• For facilities where your dog/cat will stay, check how many dogs/cats will be on site at any one time. Also, ask what the ratio is between human to pets to ensure overcrowding is not a risk to your Best Friend. We recommend a maximum of 1 human to 6 Dogs, but again it is based on the process of each business.
• Ask potential Pet Sitters if they have any training in pet care. For example, Pet First Aid, a Vet Tech, or a Pet Sitters Certificate.  Interview them for how they intended to engage with your pets, how often, and if they are bonded. Worry-free vacationers know their Pet Sitters are fully-insured while in their home and have no criminal history.

1-Month Before Your Amazing Skiing Vacation

• Review cancellation policies with your Pet Care facility of choice, or with a Live-in Pet Sitter. 
• When satisfied, reserve your spot as soon as possible. Request an email for the exact total cost based on what you have requested. This helps to reconcile your vacation budget when you get home. But beware, there may be incidental costs that can be added to the bill. For example, if you run out of food for the Sitter, or the Dog, and the Sitter has to fork out money and time to get more.
• Plan on leaving a deposit with either the facility or the Sitter. Most Pet Sitters will ask for payment in full a day before they arrive as the market is riddled with Pet Sitters who were never paid for several days of care. 
• Most Pet Care facilities and Pet Sitting Services are small businesses and need time to organize themselves and desirable spots/sitters book up fast, so the earlier you book the better.

2-Weeks Before Leaving on your Cruise

• Pick up extra dog food, and calculate how much you will need to leave with their Vacation Caregiver. Add in two additional meals as a safety precaution should there be a delay on your return.
• Include treats that you would normally give your dog during the day. Treats are important and you don't want them to have any further deprivation than missing you. In the highest quality care facilities they will look to engage your dog in a new pleasurable experience, and treats are necessary part to encourage a dog to not be fearful. Don't hold back on the treats.
• Check that the facility/sitter can obtain the food should your return be significantly delayed. Make sure they have the brand, flavor & protein type, and the store that carries it.  
• Add your Pet's Caregiver's name to your contact list on your phone. You want their business/home/cell, for texting, calling and of course, emailing with any updates.
• Check on any medication that your pet is on, and refill it if necessary, ensuring there is extra just in case you are delayed returning home.
• Decide if you want to Skype© with your dog while on vacation and ask the facility or sitter if it can be arranged and how much it will cost. Most will try and accommodate this request which is good for your dog and good for you too!
• Write a list of the dog's normal routines including when they normally eat, defecate and urinate. Also any ground-rules you want to keep enforced during your away time. It will help to ensure your dog's routine and patterns are not disrupted too much. Note the dog's favorite toys and activities.
• If using a Sitter, clean up any clutter in the house, and make up the bedroom with fresh linen and put out fresh towels. Stock the house with toilet paper, and other normal pantry and household items one would expect. 
• Sitters will need a spare key cut, or know the pin for your front door lock. If you have made a new key, check that it works. Then arrange for your dog and Sitter to meet ahead of time and to pick up the key.

1-Week Before Catching a Train to see the Countryside

• If you are taking your pet to a facility make a list of what you will be taking and then tuck an inventory list into the Pet's traveling bags. The Facility will ensure they re-pack it on check-out.
• For a Sitter, purchase an agreed pre-arrange list of groceries. While your delicious Meatloaf may be great, to a vegetarian is very unappealing and unappreciated. Stick to a pre-arranged food list.
• Sitters will use your WIFI. Write a list of passwords and processes to allow access to the internet. Also, include emergency vet's numbers and trusted friend's numbers, just in case the worse should happen. Also make note of any of the house oddities that the Sitter may need to know, for example, the need to jiggle the handle on the toilet to stop it making noise.
• Add clear instructions on medication to be administered. Check if there are any additional costs to administering as some do add on more.

​1-Day Before your Kayaking Trip in Belize

• Drop your pet off or have him picked up when using a facility. Do this before you begin packing to avoid any unnecessary upset. Pets do recognize luggage if you have left before and it raises their anxiety.
• If using Live-in Pet Sitting, arrival can be on the day of leaving BUT ensure you have scheduled enough time to do a walk-through of your notes/lists, a tour of the house, and especially take the time to show them how everything works. Plan to pay the Pet Sitter in full for their services.
• If you are dropping your dog off, try not to change their schedule up to the point of departing for the care facility. Missing their morning walk is confusing, and only adds to the upset of you leaving during their first few days away from you.
• Makes sure you let your Pet Caregiver knows where you will be staying just in case the worse was to happen. Reaffirm your expected time to arrive home and if you need the outside lights turned on.

The Day of Travel to Somewhere Gloriously Relaxing

• Sit back, enjoy a long cool drink, and know your Best Friend is being well-cared for and you have set him up for success. You may even get a quick ping on your phone with a picture of your pet enjoying a massage, or in play.

Readers Note: For ease of reading 'he' has been used, but if you have a female dog, please substitute 'he' for  'she'.

You have to leave your dog for that much needed vacation. Nothing ruins the relaxation of sipping a Pina Colada on the beach then worrying about your Best Friend and wondering if they are okay. If your Best Friend could talk, you could plan the best care knowing what he will tolerate and what he can't.  Here is the inside scoop on your Dog's Secrets that he wants you to know when planning for his Vacation Care:

1.  He likes his own bed, his home, his food dish, the noises which represent comfort to him, especially when you are away. His vacation care should make him as comfortable as possible when you are away.
2. He notices his stomach rubbling when his snacks are removed from the diet and his stomach aches when his diet changes, and sometimes he doesn't want to eat when you are not there. When your away make sure your substitute understands and agrees to maintain your Best Friend's dietary needs.
3. Without you there, coping in a new place, and/or new people is confusing to him, and sometimes scary.  The coolest dog ever may look okay, but their inside feelings are concerned and unsure of what is happening. His daily exercise and puzzles-solving, just like us, should not be removed/shortened when you are away. Like humans, we need them to manage stress and stay calm. Conversely, suddenly increasing their exercise suddenly will also add on unnecessary stress.
4. He needs his sleep during the day and during the night. Noise and disturbance, such as, barking, whining, and restlessness from others,  during his normal napping time and nighttime sleep can leave him unable to cope. Restorative sleep and daytime napping has been linked to a dog's ability to make good decisions - especially important when in a new environment.
5. If he can't see you, then let him smell you. Dog's have powerful memories when tied to strong emotions, including love and touch. Scent is also one of their super-powers with a million more receptors than we mere mortals. Leave your scent behind - an old t-shirt you have recently worn, a blanket, a towel or anything that reminds them of a happy, pleasurable time with you.

More to come as we introduce a timely series to help owners think through Dog Vacation Care decisions.

It's 19 days before Christmas and in our Christmas Care Countdown, we reach out to those who have recently lost their dog. The post below shares our own personal loss, and provides guidance to those you may find themselves this year without their beloved friend. Please share if someone you know could use some words to help heal.

Your friend is gone. There is no more presence at your side. The sweet sound of breathing during the long naps is no longer in the background. The eyes that blinked softly, shining with love and pleasure, have been removed. The loud grating silence in your home becomes vast and unfillable. Colours lessen, tender music becomes sharp, the sunshine seems colder, and the loss feels unresolvable. 

Coping with the loss of a friend is a painful, tiring ordeal which we all go through. It is part of our humanity to care for and ultimately loose family and friends, including our special four-legged ones.
 
When Martin and I had to part with dear friends after 14 years of care it was a devastating experience that nothing could assuage. We planned for their departure, torn between guilt and logic, love and selfishness. We arranged for in-home euthanization of our two dear souls whose many painful health conditions had been cared for over several years and had begun to worsened dramatically.  Directly after the event, we packed up our bags and drove. We just wanted to be away from the pain. We landed several hours later in Niagara Falls. We sobbed in each other arms, in restaurants, and walking in the cold January with tears freezing on our cheeks. The roar of the falls seemed to mimic the tears felt inside still to come out in the weeks that followed. We agreed that whatever went through our heads we would discuss – no matter how horrible. We helped each other resolve the normal guilt that arises and to embrace our mourning. Going home, and opening the door was one of the worst moments.  It was only the passing of time that has tempered the pain that is still tender.
 
With any grief, we go through a grief cycle, moving from the first few stages of initial loss, anger to guilt/sadness through to sweet denial. It is the latter that help me function through the first 6-months. It took over a year to be able to breathe normally when thinking of our two dogs. Then from denial, you move through a stage of perseverance waiting for the pain to recede and just riding out every bleak day, day after day until it mercifully eases.  Hope then blooms and suddenly an hour passes and then another when you just live without wearing your coat of loss.  Finally we reach the other side of the grief stage where the pain isn’t suffocating anymore, where the memories are tender but happy. You don’t focus on the seconds, minutes and hours of their passing, but instead you dwell on the joyous times, like the first squeaky toy, the moment they learned the delight of the garden hose only a hot day can bring, or when they figured out how to go through the doggie door you installed. 
 
To help you manage the loss of beloved dog, acknowledge the dog as a living soul who is now departed. Review the stages of grief: Anger, Sadness, Guilt, Denial, Depression, Perseverance, Hope and Rebuilding and figure out where you are in it.  It is ‘normal’ to be feeling what you’re feeling. It is also normal to slide backwards and relive one of the stages. And sometimes you get stuck in a loop before something, like time, propels you forward. 
 
Loosing a friend requires a lot more healing time and patience than a person normally allows. Sometimes you may feel you shouldn’t take the time for a mere creature, a dog. But a dog is a being with complex emotions.  They are engaged and shape all aspects of our life experience.
 
Often people going through loss find it hard to put themselves first. I recommend you plan to cope with each day as it’s own event. Determine at the beginning of the day where you are from an emotional perspective, and how much you are able to engage with others. Make decisions for each day that work best for you to help heal. Tell your friends and family to be patient and allow you to work through the loss.  

When you are ready, consider writing an obituary for your social wall, or send to friends via email. It is amazing the stories that will come back to you and make you feel better about what your are going through. Consider lighting a candle at Christmas to honor your dog's memory. Honor their memory with doing something wonderful, like volunteering in memory of your Best Friend.
 
If you loved your friend thoroughly, courageously and passionately, you’ve created a rich tapestry of your life, which is better than keeping your distance and making a life that is basically cheesecloth. Your dog was like bright pieces of wool woven deeply into your life, and gave you the gift of memories and lessons, unbounded by time or space.